How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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