So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
