Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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