She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
