is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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