do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
