Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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