if only i could text you this smell
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I enjoy the company of your penis
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
