My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
