to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
