he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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