Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
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