It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
