would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize