Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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