I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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