she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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