i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
