Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
