Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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