Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize