drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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