dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
