Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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