i was born a porn star she said
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
