When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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