Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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