just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
my poor anus
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
