He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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