Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I can't put those talents on a resume
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
