you didnt know i had herpes?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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