Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We talked him into tasing himself.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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