Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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