i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
