addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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