so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
