girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
