i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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