I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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