I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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