Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize