There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
