don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
