i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I love you.
Bad choice
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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