Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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