I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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