Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
