He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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