Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
