so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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