Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
