Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
