Pappa wants mamma naked
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
