well you can't waste a boner
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
We smell like vodka and hangover
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