i just wanna soil my oats bro
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
