she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
