I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
