Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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