im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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