just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
