I hate your face
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
