did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Randomize
