Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
third nipple confirmed
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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