I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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