Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
