watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize