i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
